So, how do I put this nicely? My first trimester was... Uh, horrible. I so badly wanted to be one of those bitches who could prance around and say she didn't even feel pregnant and brag about how easy it was and how beautiful she felt. One week into finding out, this kid hit me like a damn Mack Truck.
To help me through my struggle, I turned to none other than my best friend and your editor, Ester Kurecki. Each trimester, we thought it would be fun to let you in on our candid conversations and eavesdrop on what our phone calls sounded like.
Enjoy this chat between a mom of three and a struggling mom-to-be.
R: Welp, I am now experiencing my worst hangover ever from college going on two months straight. Unbelievable. That shit shouldn't be called morning sickness because I am nauseous 24/7. Even when I throw up, I still don't feel any better. Were you sick with any of your kids?
E: With Jakson, it went so smooth, I forgot I was even pregnant. The girls were a different story... The drama started when they were in utero. I found myself nauseous randomly throughout the day during my first trimester.
R: I used to be the Queen of Kale, Quinoa, and Mashed Cauliflower, but these past weeks if you tried to make me eat a kale salad I would have punched you in the face. It's like I have reverted back to my fourth grade self - all I can seem to stomach is Alphabet Soup, Beefaroni, and Hamburger Helper. Delicious but disgusting at the same time. Is my child now going to have the IQ of someone who was only raised on the nutrients of Chef Boyardee?
E. Let's see...I ate lots of gummy worms, Slurpees, and Doritos during all my pregnancies and my kids seem okay. :) The one food I did try and eat lots of is shrimp (it's apparently brain food for your baby in utero.)
R: More questionable symptoms: I now wake up every day at four in the morning feeling like a sweaty woman going through menopause, I get shooting pains in the same spot in my neck each night, and my left eye didn't stop twitching for a week and a half straight over Thanksgiving. Can you check with your doctor husband that a cyborg hasn't invaded my body?
E: No cyborg confirmed. Looks like you have what they call being pregnant.
R: Okay, okay, I'll stop complaining, but being so sick at first made it very hard for me to be excited about being pregnant. It wasn't until my first ultrasound when I heard Little One's heartbeat that it finally became worth it and felt real. Did you feel connected to the baby when you found out you were pregnant from the very beginning?
E: Not exactly. During the first few weeks of finding out I was pregnant I took one pregnancy test (sometimes two) a day, just to make sure I wasn't dreaming. It wasn't until I heard the first heartbeat that I truly believed it was happening.
R: I know I have a lot of learning to do ahead of me. You had said that the number one book I should read now is called "Babywise." What's it about?
E: Oh "Babywise!" I like to call it the Baby Sleep Bible. This book gives advice and tips on how to help you as a parent, get your baby into a healthy schedule that promotes a long nights sleep. The book can be a little strict at times, so you have to pick and choose what works best for you. I will say, that with this book, my two girls started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks. Can't complain about that!
R: Lastly, will I ever arise from my zombie-like, stained sweatpants, leave me here to die status to Blake Lively effortless mom-to-be chicness? And what can I expect from my second trimester?
E: Three kids later, I'd still call myself in a zombie-like, sweatpant wearing mommy. But, on a good note, I did find the second trimester to be less exhausting. It's like you have this sudden surge of energy and determination to get lots done before the little one arrives!