I've always wanted to be a mom. Since I was a child, I've mothered dolls, dogs, and half eaten bunnies (thanks to my childhood Chocolate Lab). How much different could mothering a child be? I mean, I love to take care of people (hence, why I became a nurse) and I have always loved being around babies and children.
Well, it should come as no surprise that when Rick & I got married, we were both open to having a family one day. We spent the first 3 years of our marriage together having many fun adventures. We traveled a lot during that time and, being the planner that I am, I decided that a vacation in Alaska summer of 2013 would be our last hurrah as a party of two before we started trying to pop out kids. Well, as it always goes, I make a plan for the way I believe my life should be, and God always decides His plan is better.
Well, it should come as no surprise that when Rick & I got married, we were both open to having a family one day. We spent the first 3 years of our marriage together having many fun adventures. We traveled a lot during that time and, being the planner that I am, I decided that a vacation in Alaska summer of 2013 would be our last hurrah as a party of two before we started trying to pop out kids. Well, as it always goes, I make a plan for the way I believe my life should be, and God always decides His plan is better.
It was a Sunday morning last May, my third of four days in a row at work. It was 6am, and as usual I was running late. I had become increasingly more tired recently but attributed it to the fact that A) I had just switched to dayshift after being on nights for 2 years, and B) I had been playing a lot of tennis and consistently running again for the last 6 weeks. My runs had been getting longer, I think I was up to 6 miles, and 3 days prior I had come in from a run and started crying to Rick, "I just don't understand, I have been running for 6 weeks and I just keep getting slower! I couldn't even make it to 4 miles tonight. I'm winded and I have no energy!" Boom. I should've known right then. But, no. Okay, back to Sunday morning.
So, as I'm about to hop into the shower, I remember that it has been well over a month since I've had a period. Not unusual for me, but for some reason in that instant I decided that I should take a test. Knowing it would be negative, I took the test and jumped in the shower.
At that moment, I didn't think anymore about it. I get out of the shower and as I'm brushing my teeth, I glance over and see the test on the counter. I had forgotten about it. As I walk the 2 feet over to the test, not one thought goes through my head, until...DUH DUH DUHHH...it's positive! No, wait, that's not right, I'm not supposed to be pregnant yet! I sit down on the toilet and look at that test for what seemed like forever (it was probably 10 seconds). My heart started to race and I began to shake. I had never felt so many emotions at one time.
Small side note: For a long time, I had had this elaborate plan as to how I would tell Rick that he was going to be a dad. Well, in that moment, that plan went out the window! I busted through the bathroom door and shouted at my peacefully sleeping husband, "BABE!"
So, as I'm about to hop into the shower, I remember that it has been well over a month since I've had a period. Not unusual for me, but for some reason in that instant I decided that I should take a test. Knowing it would be negative, I took the test and jumped in the shower.
At that moment, I didn't think anymore about it. I get out of the shower and as I'm brushing my teeth, I glance over and see the test on the counter. I had forgotten about it. As I walk the 2 feet over to the test, not one thought goes through my head, until...DUH DUH DUHHH...it's positive! No, wait, that's not right, I'm not supposed to be pregnant yet! I sit down on the toilet and look at that test for what seemed like forever (it was probably 10 seconds). My heart started to race and I began to shake. I had never felt so many emotions at one time.
Small side note: For a long time, I had had this elaborate plan as to how I would tell Rick that he was going to be a dad. Well, in that moment, that plan went out the window! I busted through the bathroom door and shouted at my peacefully sleeping husband, "BABE!"
R: "What?" (Looking confused)
W: "I'm pregnant! Oh my gosh, I'm pregnant!"
R: (Again) "What?" (Still looking confused)
W: "I just took a test..."
R: "AHHH, that's so exciting!"
We sat there for a minute hugging, me crying, Rick smiling so big. We were going to be parents. Crazy. During my shift, I kept thinking about it and couldn't shake the fact that there was another little human growing inside of me. Just to be sure, I came home and took another test. Yep. Still positive. Okay then... I Guess I'm Due.
Cut to now, my little Abram is 10 weeks old today! I still find it so amazing that it was him inside of me all along. We didn't find out the sex until the day he was born, so it is crazy to think that it was that little guy that made me sick for 20 weeks, traveled with me for 9 months all over the map, but most amazing of all, that he was the one I constantly felt moving around and kicking me!
While the first two months have been incredibly challenging, I have learned so much. Being a mom is a lot harder than I ever imagined it would be, but I am SO grateful to be Abram's mom. He is such a sweet boy, and now that he can make eye contact and smile at me, my heart overflows with love a little more each day.
While it may have not been my plan to get pregnant when I did, I am thankful that little Abram came along when he did. God truly blessed us, and I am so thankful for His plan (totally better than mine) and his timing!
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