A Small Imperfection

Every woman's body reacts to being pregnant differently. My stomach stretched out so large I'm surprised I didn't topple over- I honestly didn't know my skin could stretch that big. My butt grew along with it and my face for some reason thought that having chipmunk cheeks would be a nice addition.

Then, when I thought my body had enough, I had to recover from pushing a baby out, all times three!

I get so annoyed when I see magazine articles, Facebook posts, or Instagram pictures of people (sometimes other moms) that say there’s no excuse not to have a perfect body, mind and soul post pregnancy. No excuses?! My first excuse: I’m a Mom! A realistic mom will agree that the word “perfect” does not exists in your vocabulary. Try juggling a house, kids, a husband, work, and life all in one day then ask me how my mind, body, and soul feel...

The truth is everyone struggles with some sort of challenge after a pregnancy. For some it’s depression, others weight, and there is the child bearing hips, gray hairs, and even hair loss, the list goes on...I am no exception to this rule. I have many imperfections after having three kids. But the one struggle that surprised me the most? My boobs. Yes, you heard me right- thing one and thing two, Barb and Bessie, Lefty and Righty, whatever you wish to call them. You see, before I had babies, I was very content with my 34B’s. Just perfect for my body size. Then, I was delightfully surprised that while I was breastfeeding my breasts grew to be the size of Dolly Parton’s. I had no idea that those suckers could look so good on me. Another great advantage to breastfeeding, I couldn’t have been happier!

then

However, it was just a temporary fix. Instantly after my youngest turned one, and I decided I was officially done producing milk, the girls shrank. Not a little or just back to their original size, but all the way back to the size of my pre-teen years. That’s correct, I now shop for bras in the junior department, no joke! It is a heck of a lot cheaper this way, but that also means that most of my shirts fit too big in the front, and I can't wear a sports bra because then I could be mistaken for a boy. And of course, now that it’s bathing suit season there’s no hiding these little girls. I had no idea my boobs were capable of being so small.

and now

I’ve learned to slightly embrace this situation, wearing padded bras obviously helps, but there’s nothing like the real deal. For now, I have to just deal with this “small” imperfection and hope that one day they will miraculously grow.

The point of me sharing this embarrassing flaw, is that whether or not we want to admit it, all mommas out there are imperfect in some shape or form- some of us may just be better at hiding it. For me, every morning when I look down at my non existent breasts and slap on my training bra, it’s just a happy reminder that God has blessed me with three little miracles and being imperfect is a small sacrifice I'm willing to take.

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the tale of pumping

While breastfeeding my baby is an incredible experience and benefits both me and the little man in a lot of ways, I can't say that pumping causes me the same excitement.  I remember back in January before we had Abram, I received the pump and parts in the mail with an instructional DVD.  I had been warned that I should have my pump set up and ready to go in case of severe engorgement and need of relief when I first came home from the hospital.  Well, in order to be prepped and ready, I decided that Rick and I should sit down and watch this DVD since neither of us had any idea how to use a breast pump.  First they went thru and discussed how to wash your pump parts (soap & water, eh?), then how to assemble them, and then finally they show you how to sit down and pump.  They show this woman sitting in a rocking chair and as she begins to pump the narrator says, "It is always helpful to picture your baby nursing or your baby smiling at you.  It will help your milk let down and make your pumping experience easier."  So the woman in the video closes her eyes and gets a big smile on her face as she pictures her baby and then...ta daaa...liquid gold in her pumping bottles.  Naive little me is sitting on our couch watching this laughing at how corny this video is, but also thinking "seriously, that's all I have to do?"  Well, done and done...this will be a cinch!  

I ended up not pumping for engorgement when I got home, but about a week in I started pumping at random times throughout the day to start stocking up on my milk supply for when I returned to work.  Well, that ended up being a bust because while I asked question after question about anything and everything about having a new baby, I didn't ask enough questions about breastfeeding and pumping.  What comes from pumping at random times throughout the day on top of nursing your newborn every one to three hours?  An increased supply of milk.  What comes from an increased supply of milk with a newborn incapable of eating your increased supply?  Mastitis.  So, note to those of you who are like me and know nothing about breastfeeding and pumping: don't pump just to pump and get a stockpile of milk.  That will come with time.  If you are engorged, pump, but don't empty yourself out.  Pump enough to get relief and be done, even if you've pumped half an ounce.  Trust me, the last thing you want to do is increase your supply so much that your breasts are never emptied and thus you get an infection.  

After talking to a lactation consultant and getting my milk supply issues all figured out, I stopped pumping until I went back to work.  I think I pumped a few times here and there if Rick had to feed Abram while I was gone running errands or something, but for the most part I was home for every feeding, so my breasts were 100% used to a little infant emptying them and not some mechanical pump.  On my first day back to work, I decided that somehow I was going to leave to pump every three hours (if you are a nurse, you know how impossible this is).  Okay, so that didn't happen, and by 11:00 on my first morning back, I was ready to burst and my breasts were hard as rocks.  I go into the pumping room (I will say it is convenient working on a unit where lots of mothers need to pump for their babies), get set up, and I begin.  I sit there in my rocking chair, looking around the room, and nothing is happening.  I close my eyes and try to think of his little face, but all I can think of is that stupid woman in the video smiling as she pumps and produces like a happily milked cow.  Sigh.  What now?  I pull out my phone and set the screen to an adorable image of his face.  Surely, the milk will come now, right?  Still waiting, I ended up playing with the speed and suction dials and I'm not sure how long it took for my milk to let down, but it took a long time and I was in that pumping room almost 50 minutes.  I can't remember who was taking care of my patients while I was gone that first session, but I am so thankful that they showed me mercy.  The rest of the day went better, but it still set me incredibly behind in patient care.  

About a month ago, I got a new pump because my previous one was defective.  It was still taking at least 30-40 minutes to pump, my breasts were only being partially emptied, and I would come home from work at night with knots and plugs in my breasts.  Not to mention, on random occasions the pump would sound like it was dying when it was plugged into the wall!  I decided to call Ameda customer service and they were awesome!  They immediately sent me a new pump (my motor was busted) and they also threw in a couple of extra flanges and valves!  I guess it was yet another lesson learned on my journey of motherhood...should've called sooner and realized that it wasn't me that was defective, it was my pump!  

Well, needless to say, pumping is a breeze now.  No more rocking in my chair at work picturing the little guy's face (even though I see it 24/7).  I finally figured out the proper use of the speed and suction dials to get my milk to let down and once that happens, it is free flowing after that.  Thanks to my new pump, it takes me about 15 minutes to completely empty my breasts, which gets me back to work much quicker!  It was a pretty rough start to pumping, but now I'm okay with it.  That old phrase "git er done" applies here.  Baby boy has to eat, so like it or not, mama has to pump.  

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'Moon In My Room' Review & Giveaway!

The "B" word, also known as 'bedtime' is at the top of the list of dreaded words in the Kurecki household. Trying to get three kids to sleep every night is ALWAYS a struggle. On the nights that our kids actually sleep in their rooms, instead of the hallway or our bedroom floor, they insist on using a nightlight. I think it's accurate to say that we’ve owned just about every night light out there, and not one of them seemed to do the trick. But I think the search is finally over! Mounted on Jak's bedroom wall is a moon that lights up and changes phases for a set period of time. This moon, called "Moon In My Room," is genius! 

Jak loves watching his moon change shapes and it seems to give off the perfect amount of "moonlight," not too light but not too dark. I would recommend this moon to any parent who is looking for a unique way to shine a little light on bedtime. The moon can be set to a timer, and often times, Jak falls asleep watching the phases. And that makes for one happy momma!

Thanks to our friends at Uncle Milton's, one of our lucky readers will have a chance to win one of their own!

Congratulations to our winner, Alex Fullenkamp! 

Stay tuned next month for our next giveaway!

~This giveaway is now Closed~

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